 All this talk of the Obama ‘meta’ camapign and his antsy financial supporters, pundits contractually paralyzed by corporate glut and politically funded polls. Awash in the rising spector of an historic dual presidency, a Mr. & Mrs. America team emboldened enough to feign parallels to the reign of Franklin & Eleanor. Give me a break. It’s time for ‘Downward Dog,’ Senator Obama. Tout de suite! On your hands and knees. Lift your buttocks to the sky. Stretch your chest through your arms. Tuck you pelvis. Pull in those hips. Maintain that lumbar curve. And breathe. Maintain position until stretched just beyond endurance. Then bend your knees slightly and without sacrificing any of the integrity of your pose, straigthen them by rotating your thigh bones in and stretching your sitz bones further apart. Now breathe. Again. The ‘meta’ message of this admittedly amateur mini Iyengar Yoga session is, in essence, just when you think you’ve reached the breaking point, a slight adjustment provides accesss to parts of yourself which can be utlized to add more strength and longevity to the pose. In short, the key to victory in the Obama campaign might not be ‘turning the page’ back to engage Washington-style politics. No, rather it might just call for even more radical adhesion and commitment to the postion. I’d suggest downward dog and a touch of game theory, an unmilitary application of the principles of fourth generation warfare. To win this thing, Obama must be prepared to lose everything by striking at the most powerful symbol of his opponent’s arrogant, self-agrandizing infrastructure: The Polls. Let’s have a go at it. Without a doubt, the Illinois Senator’s campaign would be history were he to suggest the possiblity of poll manipulation. No, Obama ’08 is burnt toast if they call into account the inherent conflict of interest associated with pollsters affiliated with mainstream media, which is in turn beholden to stockholders and board members who’ve got billions riding on the craps table. The payback? Pandemic profits from ongoing privitization of government, continuous war, and free ‘unfair’ trade. Imagine the outroar were he to casually mention that CNN’s chief pollster admitted to rigging poll results for Bill to portray an American public still strongly behind their man. Or to refer to Angus Reid’s reference to the ‘dirtiest secret in the polling industry” the 10,000 calls involved in gleaning a participant base of 1,000, hardly reflective of a clear demographic. Go up against Republican Scott Rasmussen? Forget it. This is the guy whose revolutionary automated polling process so closely parallelled the results of the ’04 election his credibility jetissoned into the ionosphere. How do you do battle with the behemouth corporatocracy currently catapulting Clinton into our collective consciousness? Picture this! Chicago, IL. Oct. 23: Talk show diva Oprah Winfrey announced early this morning the first ever live polling TV event, a week long campaign to actively engage Americans in conducting an independent survey to determine who’s currently ahead in the race for the Presidency.
Oprah has extended invitations to people across America to participate in a “revolutionary power grab to ’show just how fraudulent the traditional polling process has become in our country and to provide live ongoing coverage of Democracy in action.”
“I’m tired of hearing that American’s just don’t care enough, aren’t educated enough, and basically have given up on their chance to effect change,” she said. “My viewers don’t fit that profile and they deserve the chance to become active in this process. The Oprah Poll will be totally legit, covered live and results will be telecast live as they come in.”
The show plans to offer free transportation, lodging and food to participants as well as to pay any monies pollsters might loose for taking time off work.
“I think political polling should become just like jury duty, compulsory. We’re going to be involved in this entire process, from designing the poll to ensuring we are actually going to solicit real information … no trick questions. We are going to engage in door to door polling and setting up phone banks with 800 numbers to receive calls from potential voters. We’re launching a national outreach to cell phone users as well.”
The Oprah Poll, scheduled for November 11-16, begins with a team of academic experts who will conduct mini live seminars on statistics, determining demographics, calculating margins of error and writing polling questions which are straight-forward and capable of soliciting real information. More details of the weeklong event will be announced during next week, when Winfrey begins discussion of the validity current polling methods.
Oh, I forgot to mention. Tanatmount to the success of this unconventional maneuveur? Hourly yoga lessons, free to all participants and viewers. Streaming live coast to coast. Five days watching typical, everyday Americans, armed with abacus and perfecting downward dog. Breathe. What d’ya think, Oprah? 
crossposted in Backseat Baby Boomers for Barack
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